I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there is a movement happening in Japan right now to get dads more involved in their families’ lives. It’s called the “Ikumen” movement.

“Ikumen” is a combination of two Japanese words: ikuji (育児), meaning “childcare,” and ikemen(イケメン), meaning “handsome or gorgeous man.”

The whole premise of the movement is that dads should:

• Take paternity leave to help their wives right after their children are born.
• Help around the house with regular chores, such as cooking and cleaning.
• Watch the kids and go walking with them, just as the moms would.
• <Insert any other good fatherly practice here>

THE JAPANESE PEOPLE WANT GOOD FATHERS

​​I am an avid anime watcher, and when you’ve seen as much as I have, you start to notice some things.

Looking at mainstream anime, it may surprise you that most father characters are portrayed as loving and competent. These anime fathers are invested in the lives of their children, love their wives, and become someone their children can turn to for advice. They would do anything to protect their families.
Here are some examples of good fathers from popular anime and movies:

• Hughes from Fullmetal Alchemist
• Shikaku Nara, Minato Namikaze, and Chouza Akimichi from Naruto
• Ryoji Fujioka from Ouran High School Host Club
• Spirit Albarn from Soul Eater
• Akio Furukawa from Clannad
• Tatsuo Kusakabe from My Neighbor Totoro
• Seiya Tsukishima from Whisper of the Heart

IKUMEN – MY FIRST ENCOUNTER

​I didn’t actually hear the term “ikumen” while in Japan myself, but looking back, I can see that there were already many dads going the extra mile to be there with their wives and children.

I first met a true ikumen when I was at a McDonald’s inside of an Itoyokado mall, just a ten-minute walk from the Takao train station. I was eating lunch with my fellow volunteer, when we both just happened to notice this young married couple with a baby sitting across from us at a nearby table.

What caught my attention wasn’t the cute baby in their arms—it was the way both of them looked so overjoyed to have her.

“What a cute baby!” I complimented. The dad turned to me and beamed. He made sure I could see the little baby’s face, and kept showing her off, saying, “Right? Isn’t she the cutest!”

I could tell that he loved his family deeply.

THE REALITY

​As a church volunteer, I got the chance to see the diverse family dynamics, and really get an understanding of what home life was like for the typical family in Japan.

I was always ecstatic to meet fathers who loved their children and wives—and showed it by helping out around the house, attending school events, and so forth.  

On the other hand, there were honestly some fathers that made me feel…empty, because it seemed as though they had no time for their families. 

PRIORITIES

​Nobody’s perfect. 

But something I’ve learned from people around the world is that when you put first things first, everything falls into place. For everyone, everywhere, this should mean placing family first—before work. Because when you put second things first—like putting your job above your family—everything is going to fall apart.

A very wise man said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home” –David O. McKay.

And he is right.

MOTIVES

I understand that some fathers are only participating in the ikumen movement to look good. If that is the case, however, I don’t think that the movement will achieve what it’s aiming for.  

Everyone is searching for happiness, in their own way.

But true happiness can’t come from the outside. It can’t come from gaining some incentive. It has to come from hard work, love, patience, enduring, optimism, and from doing activities that are creative and fun!

If a father can put aside his worries of work long enough to find ways to help out around the home, and do it from the bottom of his heart, then I believe that we will start to see a change—not only in the Japanese people, but in the homes all around the world. After all, morals aren’t bound by language or culture.

​Right is right, no matter where you’re from. That’s what should be driving you. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

You don’t have to be Japanese to be an ikumen! 

I have my own ikumen right here, in America. 

He works hard, and when he’s home, he helps with cooking, laundry, dishes, and moral support. He watches our daughter and son when I’m away, too. 

And to top it all off, he doesn’t do it for recognition (shhh! Don’t tell him I posted this online ^_^). 

COMMENT BELOW

• Who is the ikumen in your life? 
• What other questions about Japan do you have?
• Was there something you liked about this article?

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