Let’s be real here for a bit. I want to talk to you about something that has been on my mind a lot recently, and that is the idea of interdependence.

What is interdependence?

When two people are part of a relationship where they can take care of themselves, but feel comfortable relying on each other when needed, those two people are interdependent.

But this idea of interdependence isn’t openly accepted or broadcasted. Instead, people focus on becoming completely independent.

There is a popular theory that “real men” or “real women” can do all that they need to do, without any help, all day, every day.

“Real men” do all the heavy lifting, work out, fix cars, work all day, etc.

“Real women” do the laundry, clean the house, spend time with their children, do the shopping, and look stunning all the time.

OR

“Real women” go to work, beat the man at their own game, succeed in the corporate world, are activists, travel the world, etc. all while taking care of their children and husband at home.

But there’s a difference between these ideals and reality.

As much as we hate to admit it, no one can do everything 100% of the time.

In fact, “Only the mediocre are always at their best” (Jean Giraudoux).

So, what do we do? The laundry, dishes, work, and other chores still need to be done every day.

This is where interdependence takes the reins. We need to learn to rely on others when we fall short. But more importantly, we need to learn that it is OK to lean on others from time to time.

I have been learning this more poignantly in my married years. There are days that I just can’t do all that I feel I should be able to do (maybe it’s because I’m pregnant, or maybe it’s because I’m doing too much), and my husband steps in and takes over. He cleans, he cooks, he does the laundry and the dishes, and we make it through. He even changes our daughter’s diapers!

Is everything done just the way I want it all the time? No. But it doesn’t bother me because I know that he is there when I fall short.

That is interdependence.

And when he’s down? I step in and help out. I start the car in the morning (to warm it up), I make dinner, I play with our daughter so that he can work on homework, and we talk about life.

There’s a real problem with society if we truly believe that we are in this alone.

Some advice:

• Don’t just say, “Good,” when others ask you how you’re doing. Be honest and explain what’s going on. Then turn around, and get them to share how they’re doing too.
• Take the time to help others. It could be that they dropped something–pick it up for them. It could be that you have a snack and you choose to share it with them. It could be anything. Just look for small opportunities to help those around you.
• Get off your phone and talk with those on the street when you’re walking somewhere. Start up a conversation with someone else in line at a restaurant or at the store. Be genuine. Beginning a conversation is as easy as complimenting something of theirs and asking a question.
• Get off your phone and talk with those you love. Turn OFF the TV and music, and just enjoy a good conversation. Do wholesome things together. Make everyday life something to be enjoyed, not endured.

Comment Below!

• There’s a lot of cultural expectations that hurt if we don’t live up to them. What can we do to overcome that?
• Do you feel ashamed for not living up to expectations? What do you do to pick yourself up and keep going?

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